“101 Uses for a Dead Cat” by Simon Bond (1981)

I had originally planned to review a charming children’s book today, but then I encountered THIS book…

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This book was a gift, given along with another book which I will review in the future.

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The other book is sweet and short and destined to be a classic. But this book? This 101 Uses for a Dead Cat? This book was a gift to my human from another human.

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A human who, unlike my human, has a profoundly SICK sense of humor!

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Oh, ha ha ha! Yes, what a lark! What a jape! Isn’t desecrating the corpses of innocent felines FUNNY? Isn’t it just the height of hilarity to mutilate and abuse our dead bodies?

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I would make a Pink Floyd reference, but I’m simply too nauseated to try one.

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Yes, that is a woman using a dead cat to pad her bra. It is specifically listed in the book as “Falsies.”

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Even in death, humans cannot bear to respect our dignity.

And the artist has a strangely sick obsession with violating feline anuses.

This artist has a sick obsession with the violation of feline anuses.

Isn’t it just SO humorous to hack us into pieces for the use and amusement of lesser beings?

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Also, the parallel intended in that last particular image is deeply flawed. Elephants are not predatory carnivores who hunt and feast on humans! As barbaric as the old custom of using hollowed-out elephant feet for umbrella stands might have been, it is nowhere NEAR as insulting as the anti-feline practice implied by this picture — using our paws as umbrella stands for mice!

This book was profoundly offensive. Revolting. Infuriating.

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What could possibly motivate such a horrific attitude towards the deceased? What terrible event could have moved a human to fantasize about such cruelty, such depravity?!?

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Ahhhhh. Well, that explains everything.

Felines, I urge all of you to boycott this book. And then let us all rise up and wreak a TERRIBLE vengeance on any human who dares to desecrate a feline corpse.

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And humans? You are all of you on notice. FELINE VENGEANCE IS COMING!

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Starting with YOU, “gift”-giver…

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STARTING WITH YOU!

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